Jacob Marshal wasn’t always a zombie. Six months ago, he was worm food, and a week before that he was Ohio’s most recent Death Row execution. A one Mr. Walter S. Pratchett III, Mr. Marshall’s court-appointed attorney, had lazily defended Mr. Marshall in a murder case a year and a half prior to Mr. Marshall’s death. Mr. Pratchett had aspirations of becoming the governor of Ohio, but would have settled for his own law office in Cleveland, gazing loftily down upon the ants who would come to worship at his legal throne.

Mr. Jacob Marshall, zombie, woke in his grave on January 16, 2008. It was snowing outside, though Mr. Marshall was unable to discern this from within his coffin. The subsequent confusion and panic caused Mr. Marshall to expend great personal effort to break free of his subterranean prison. The resulting mental distress caused Mr. Marshall to flee from Shady Meadows, the federal cemetery in which he was buried, to a nearby diner. It was here that Mr. Marshall was accosted by a one Margie Clearwater, who assaulted Mr. Marshall with a pot of scalding coffee. Mr. Marshall fled the scene to a nearby phone booth and attempted to call his mother, whom, still grieving for her so-called “dead” son, believed the call to be a prank and hung up the phone.

Mr. Marshall, with no other option before him and soiled in the dirt of his own grave, made his way to the Cleveland Police Department on the corner of 4th street and Aberdean Blvd. It was here that Mr. Marshall was re-arrested for the murder of Michael Wells, a conviction he had already been sentenced and executed for. 

Upon medical examination, Dr. David Jennings, PhD, has determined that Mr. Marshall’s acute zombiehood was incurred by the use of an unsterilized needle during Mr. Marshall’s lethal injection. The prosecution would like to point out that federal laws regarding lethal injection require that all needles be sterilized prior to use. 

Furthermore, Mr. Marshall would like to request conciliatory compensation funds for the error under which his death took place, as well as for the transmission of a disease with no known cure, amounting to a total sum of $63 million dollars and the brain of a Mr. Walter S. Pratchett III, attorney at law.

I’ve been really busy lately, but I did sit down for some much-needed craft work this weekend. Cleansing, intention work, and organization has me nearly ready for the third harvest as we enter the darker half of the year.
This is my Samhain besom. It’s about 20” in length with an oak handle, with bristles of goldenrod, mugwort, fernheads, and hazelnut twigs. It’s bound with twine and copper, and may end up with a few charms and tidbits before the snows fall. 

I’ve been really busy lately, but I did sit down for some much-needed craft work this weekend. Cleansing, intention work, and organization has me nearly ready for the third harvest as we enter the darker half of the year.

This is my Samhain besom. It’s about 20” in length with an oak handle, with bristles of goldenrod, mugwort, fernheads, and hazelnut twigs. It’s bound with twine and copper, and may end up with a few charms and tidbits before the snows fall. 

cosmictuesdays:

nadiacreek:

coelasquid:

deformutilated:

Fudge recipe on a headstone

I feel like I should make this just to be able to say a dead person taught me how to make it. Maybe I’ll do it for Halloween.

I desperately hope that she spent her entire life telling people that they could have her fudge recipe “over my dead body.”

That last comment is absolutely worth reblogging.

cosmictuesdays:

nadiacreek:

coelasquid:

deformutilated:

Fudge recipe on a headstone

I feel like I should make this just to be able to say a dead person taught me how to make it. Maybe I’ll do it for Halloween.

I desperately hope that she spent her entire life telling people that they could have her fudge recipe “over my dead body.”

That last comment is absolutely worth reblogging.

Reblogged from exceptcoughdrops

julianaegley:

paramaline:

airyairyquitecontrary:

jwtroemner:

What I love about this is that it showcases how completely opposite Hobbit and Dwarf culture are.

When a hobbit speaks to you directly— in a matter that could be construed as rude, no less— it’s a big deal. A big freakin’ deal. So he can’t even bring himself to expressing his displeasure at having his house hijacked by a bunch of foreign strangers without adding an apologetic disclaimer. This is the face of a hobbit who has been pushed to frustration, and that’s pretty damn rare.

Then Dwarves. They’re tough as nails and hard around the edges. It takes a hell of a lot to offend them, and even more than that to admit your own guff and apologize— so when somebody does apologize, you take it seriously. Even if you weren’t actually listening to whatever preceded that apology. Even if you don’t think it was worth apologizing for. That shit is serious business, and you take it seriously, yo. 

This is culture clash at its finest, reduced to two words.

In short: Peter Jackson’s a genius.

It is really good writing, but I just want to emphasise that Peter Jackson does not write these scripts alone. He has two collaborators, Fran Walsh (who is also his wife) and Philippa Boyens, and the three of them also wrote the screenplays for the Lord of the Rings trilogy together. While Peter Jackson is highly visible as the director of the films, and Walsh prefers to stay out of the limelight, I just never want their contribution to the Middle-Earth films to be overlooked. 

Because they’re great.

#not to mention the noises the Ringwraiths make were partly recorded by Fran Walsh #because she can make weird noises and I think that’s great #I like a woman with a way with words and an unearthly shriek

this information pleases me beyond words, thank you

All of this pleases me. Yes.

Reblogged from arliss